A School Counselor's View: Digital Devices & The Changing Culture Of Kids
Published LinkedIn Article - April 28, 2018
If you have kids or work with kids, then I highly recommend that you educate yourself about the risks of digital devices and the exposure of screen time. Especially, since there is still so much unknown about the effect that this all has on a child’s developing brain!
The movie Screenagers (https://www.screenagersmovie.com) was eye-opening and worth a watch. You might not agree with all that this movie raises but it does highlight some important issues to consider. I can tell you that it will make for an animated conversation within your family!
I show the clip below to my group guidance classes and we always have a great conversation!
Technology is here to stay! With this, comes many benefits to society that cannot be denied. We are a more global community able to communicate and learn about each other’s cultures and viewpoints at a moment’s notice and all at the ease of our fingertips. We are also more keenly aware of societal injustices. Social media has become a great agent for change. Through these platforms, people have been able to come together to mobilize to make a difference. Just look at all the student-led marches to raise awareness about gun control!
There is also cause for concern with the increased use of technology. Every day, smartphones and other digital devices are becoming more capable. As a result, people are becoming more dependent and digitally distracted! I fully admit that I am and actively working to “detox”.
As a school counselor for the past fifteen years, I can attest that in the last two, I have seen a marked change in the culture of kids. As a generation, they are much more impulsive, distracted, and quick to make decisions. They have a harder time working through problems and become more easily frustrated when they don’t get an answer right away…especially in a classroom setting. They also have more communication issues and conflicts due to misunderstandings. They tend to assume things and form judgments without getting all the details and then react. For these reasons, they are highly impressionable and easily influenced. As a result, it is important to teach this generation critical thinking skills, emotional regulation, impulse control, and effective communication and problem-solving skills.
Daily, I have students tell me that they think they are ADHD because they have difficulty concentrating. Then when I sit down to talk to these students, I learn that they are on their devices talking to friends, gaming or on social media at the same time as doing their homework or studying. Most of the time, they tell me that their parents are “clueless” or not aware. I have also been told by countless adolescents that their parents are hypocritical when they try to set limits on their cell phones or technology use. Why? Mostly, because they tell me that their parents are on their devices way more than they tend to be.
The way kids “hang out” and socialize with each other is also changing. Fortnight; the latest gaming obsession is all that I hear about every day right now! AHHHH Fortnight! Countless hours are spent playing this game and kids form teams against one another. It brings out an almost “gang” mentality as it is fiercely competitive. Students are able to communicate with each other in real-time in a virtual world. Most parents are not aware of half of what goes on behind the scenes while playing this game or that it may require supervision. What is also concerning is that some of the most introverted and shy kids are the aggressors or instigators when gaming. It is as if they have an “alter ego” online. These kids seem to come out of their shells and often don’t have the social skills to navigate the environment that these competitive games create.
What does this mean for you as parents? To begin with, it would be a good idea to “reframe” how you think about your child’s use of digital devices. When your child is online, think of it almost as if, you are sending them to a public park “unsupervised”. While your child is still young and developing, they need boundaries and guidance to navigate social situations. The internet has broken down walls so there is a need to create them to keep your child “safe”.
You and only you, know what is best for your family. Everyone is different and there is no “right” or wrong” way to do things. Screenagers offers some helpful advice and a way to start the conversation.
Some suggestions that I have shared in the past that you might want to consider are:
1. Set some rules around screen time usage.
2. At a certain time at night take your child’s digital devices out of their room. Never let them have their laptop, tablet, or phone by their bedside table.
3. Purchase software to monitor your child’s interactions and communication online. Here is a link that offers some helpful suggestions:
https://www.familyeducation.com/fun/mobile-apps/10-apps-parents-monitor-kids-mobile-use
4. If your child is on social media, make sure you also set up an account on this platform. As a rule, let them know that they must add you as a “friend”.
5. Monitor your child’s group text conversations. Particularly, during elementary and middle school. Some students have shared that they are receiving up to 300 alerts a day from group chats! 300! This is distracting to say the least!
6. Be self-reflective and think about the message you are sending your child about your own cell phone use. Are you on your devices a lot? How distracted are you and present when you are spending time around your child?
7. Make a contract with your child and let them know that it is a work in progress that can be revised at any time.
8. Go easy on yourself. Technology is changing so rapidly that it is hard to keep up. It is a good bet that your kid will probably know more than you do at some point if they don’t already.
On a personal note, my eight-year-old was able to find something online the other night that I was having a tough time locating. I better get moving!